Santa’s Slay is a 2005 Christmas black comedy horror film that stars former professional wrestler Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus. The movie was written and directed by David Steiman, a former assistant to Brett Ratner.
On Christmas Eve of 2005, the Mason family is enjoying Christmas dinner when Santa Claus (Bill Goldberg) comes down the chimney and kills them all. Some of the deaths include Santa stabbing a man’s hands to the table with steak knives, causing a girl to faint and fall back into a sharp pole that impales through her neck, Virginia’s head is set on fire and is then drowned in eggnog, a man tries to fight Santa and gets pushed into a glass case and dies, Santa then grabs a leg from the table and smashes in a woman’s head as she pleads, “I’ve been good!”, the last girl tries to escape but Santa throws a star into her back, and lastly the man who got stabbed in the hands get a turkey leg lodged down his throat. This opening scene includes tiny cameo roles from several famous Jewish actors, including James Caan, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and Rebecca Gayheart.
Riding on his sleigh driven by his “hell-deer”, Santa arrives at Hell Township and proceeds to kill the locals in various holiday-themed ways. In one of his slaughters, Santa kills the occupants of a local strip club frequented by Pastor Timmons (Dave Thomas), a crooked minister who manages to survive the massacre. Later, Santa murders the local Jewish deli owner Mr. Green (Saul Rubinek) using his own menorah.
Meanwhile, teenager Nicholas Yuleson (Douglas Smith) is living with his crazy grandfather (Robert Culp), a crackpot inventor who has created a bunker in their basement to survive Christmas. When Nicholas asks Grandpa why he hates Christmas, he is shown “The Book of Klaus”, which reveals the origins of Santa Claus.
Apparently, Santa was the result of a virgin birth produced by Satan (just as Jesus was the result of a virgin birth produced by God- meaning that Santa is somewhat of an Antichrist). Christmas was “The Day of Slaying” for Santa until, in 1005 AD, an angel defeated Santa in a curling match and sentenced Santa to deliver presents on Christmas for 1000 years. This means that Santa is free to kill again in 2005…
” …the conventional finale doesn’t negatively impact the film to such an extent that it’s not worth seeing; with its brisk pace and off-kilter sense of humor, Santa’s Slay is a worthy addition to the Christmas horror subgenre (and is surely an improvement over certain other killer Santa-themed flicks, i.e. Silent Night, Deadly Night). Reel Film
“Is this a great movie? No, it’s not. It’s about a killer Santa Claus who is out for revenge on an angel who beat him in a curling contest. Of course it’s not a great movie. Don’t be an idiot. But it does have some clever moments, a fairly talented cast, effects that range from pretty good to terrible-in-a-funny-way, a lot of fun holiday music, and Fran Drescher being burned and drowned.” Something Awful
Wetaskiwin and Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
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