Microwave Massacre is a 1983 dark comedy/horror film directed by Wayne Berwick (a child actor in The Monster of Piedras Blancas, sound recordist on The Loch Ness Horror and director of The Naked Monster, 2005) from a screenplay by Thomas Singer and story by Craig Muckler. It stars comedian Jackie Vernon in his final feature film role, plus Loren Schein and Al Troupe.
Donald (Vernon) is a construction worker with a big problem: his shrew of a wife May (Claire Ginsberg) has started to only cook gourmet foods in a misguided effort to make themselves seem classier than they are. While his friends Roosevelt (Loren Schein) and Phillip (Al Troupe) dine on simple bologna-and-cheese sandwiches for lunch, Donald is saddled with crab sandwiches and other more exotic dishes To his horror, he discovers his wife has bought an unusually large Major Electric microwave oven, which makes the meals worse in half the time.
After coming home drunk one night and getting into an argument with May, Donald loses his temper and bludgeons her to death with a large pepper grinder. He wakes up the next day with a bad hangover, no memory of the night before, and a growling stomach. He discovers May’s corpse in the microwave and after the initial wave of horror passes, he starts to take it in stride, telling his co-workers that he and May separated. After work, he then cuts up May’s body and stores it in foil wrap in the fridge. A running gag involving May’s head retaining some sort of sentience is introduced during this scene.
Looking for a midnight snack one night, Donald unintentionally takes a few bites of May’s hand, and (again) after the initial wave of horror passes, he realizes it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten. He even brings some to work with him and shares it with Phillip and Roosevelt, who concur. He soon starts picking up hookers and using them for meat in his recipes…
‘From every bad cannibal pun ever written (“I may have underestimated May’s taste!”) to an extended, reccurring gag involving a flaming construction worker, Microwave Massacre assaults its audience with a cadre of consciously bad jokes meant to sabotage the narrative and sap it of any kind of substance. The filmmakers don’t think their story is worth telling, so they put all of their effort into letting us know that they know that’. The Pink Smoke Video Oddities
“Watching Microwave Massacre is more like having an out-of-body experience, except instead of meeting God and flying among the stars, you just float above a third-rate comedy club for 70 minutes, becoming mildly intoxicated by the terrible jokes and the smell of Jagermeister.” Something Awful
“It may not be the most well-made horror film of the 80s, but it’s a fun, harmless movie that is what it is and aspires to be nothing more. You can’t help but wonder if the filmmakers grew up admiring the films of H.G. Lewis, as the godfather’s spirit of corny bravado comes through in many of the set pieces. If you’re more into serious horror, you might want to steer clear. The fact is, however, I simply cannot give a bad review to a film that features a line like “I’m so hungry, I could eat a whore.” Oh, the Horror!
“Bad food plateaued in the 80’s with the rising popularity of microwaves which led to a slew of “Microwave Cookbooks“. You know what I’m talking about. The ones that claim you can roast a whole turkey in that radiated death box. Microwave Massacre is clearly parodying this bullshit mentality.” Atomic Caravan
Buy Microwave Massacre on Anthem Pictures DVD from Amazon.com